Ancestor work is
wretchedly difficult for me. I come from a long line of staunch New England
Protestants that trace back to the Pilgrims in more than one place, and the
Puritan influence of Colonial New England is strong on the culture and religion
of my youth. As a young adult I converted to Catholicism, and my mother cried.
The idea of so much as lighting a candle to my honored dead fills me with fear,
because they would despise me for doing
so. But I think there are certain things that are right to do, even if they
cause friction in my relationship with my family, and just like someone may
have a difficult relationship with their living family, I can accept that my
relationship with my immediate ancestors is fraught. This doesn't mean I can't
still show them honor.
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| Photo by Milada Vigerova via Stocksnap.io |
To avoid angering
any particular relative - not my goal in the least! - I relate to the ancestors
more generally, calling my family lines rather than individual relatives
("My R---- Ancestors", "My C------- Ancestors" etc. and it
includes my Abenaki ancestors whose names I don't know.) I also call my
partner's ancestors, since they will also be the ancestors of our children. And
last I call the ancestors of my heart, the roots of my tradition, my guides and
my personal heroes. These include but are not limited to J.R.R. Tolkien, W.B. Yeats, Roger Lancelyn
Green, Isaac Bonewits, Helen Keller, and Madeleine L'Engle.
I see the ancestors
as part of the vast host of the dead, who dwell most of the time in Andumnos,
the underworld, unless they are needed. They are bound by love and obligation
to their kin (I think sometimes in my case, mostly from obligation) and they can
be called on for their strength and wisdom in times of crisis.
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